HELLO FUTURE SERVANT—I mean FAMILY. My name is Starburst, and I am an 11-12 week old female kitten currently accepting applications for a full-time personal assistant. Duties include feeding me, admiring me, and telling me I’m pretty approximately 47 times a day. I came to the shelter with my mom and siblings, but unlike some of them, I have STAR POWER. It’s honestly exhausting being this adorable all the time, but somehow I manage. My hobbies include: • launching surprise attacks on unsuspecting shoelaces • parkour off the furniture • staring at absolutely nothing at 3am • sprinting through the house like I just remembered taxes are due • collapsing into a nap two seconds later The shelter staff says I’m your “typical playful kitten,” but I prefer the term “tiny furry entertainment system.” I’ve been hanging out here waiting to be old enough for my big girl surgery, and next week I’ll officially be: • spayed • vaccinated • microchipped • fully prepared to redecorate your home with toys you’ll trip over barefoot My adoption fee is SPONSORED and reduced to just $40. For forty dollars you get unlimited comedy, emotional support, and a professional biscuit maker who occasionally bites your toes for fun. That’s value. If you’re interested in meeting me, your future queen of chaos, please call to schedule an appointment: 256-362-5856 Serious inquiries only. I cannot continue living in these conditions where people expect me to share attention with other kittens.