Ever wanted to adopt a sentient middle finger who allegedly was expelled from finishing school for arson? Meet Rice-A-Roni. She’s six months old, weighs about as much as a loaf of bread, and has the confidence of someone who just got away with insider trading. She’s a tuxedo-clad sour patch kid — half sweet, half sour, all attitude. One minute she’s purring sweet nothings in your lap, and the next she’ll look you dead in the eye, hiss like you just cursed her family bloodline, and run away grumbling like a misfiring car she just stole the catalytic convertor off of. She’s not mean, exactly — she just has standards. If you pet her wrong, that’s on you. If you pick her up without asking, that’s a crime. But when she decides you’ve earned her approval? You’ll melt faster than a popsicle in July. It’s not personal — she just has *short-term memory loss* and forgets she liked you five seconds ago. Rice-A-Roni loves other cats – they are creatures on her level. Dogs are acceptable if they’re submissive and have a solid sense of humor. Humans must be confident, unbothered, and willing to accept light emotional abuse in exchange for deep, occasional affection. She lives with her brother, Chef Boyardee, who’s the friendly, belly-rub-loving extrovert of the pair — basically the himbo to her misunderstood anti-hero. They aren’t bonded, but if you’re considering a pair and think you need occasional breaks from the emotional whiplash that is Rice-A-Roni, her sweet, adoring, somehow totally normal brother would be a great match for her. Rice-A-Roni doesn’t want the world to think she’s soft, but the truth is she absolutely is — when she decides you’re worthy. She’s the cat version of that friend who roasts you relentlessly but would absolutely fight someone for you in the parking lot. If you’re ready to be simultaneously adored and insulted by the same small creature, congratulations — apply to enter into a legally binding relationship with Rice-A-Roni today. Rice-A-Roni is currently in a foster home. If you are interested in meeting her, please submit an application here: https://airtable.com/apph147Ocb1OqwMU3/shrASIF0R2OtkjxWD Adoption fees are as follows: $155 for a single cat or kitten, $195 for a pair of cats or kittens. When adopting a cat from AHSEM the adoption includes spay or neuter surgery, age appropriate core vaccines, microchipping, combo tested (for FIV/FeLV), and basic wellness care including deworming and flea treatment.