You’ve seen him and thought, “Aww, he’s so cute!” and Kevin said, “Don’t.” Kevin is not your community dog. He is not here for dinner parties, neighborhood barbecues, or meeting your cousin’s boyfriend. Kevin is here to select one human and love them with the intensity of a slightly unhinged Victorian poet. If you are not that human, Kevin will bark, Kevin will growl, Kevin will nip, Kevin will escalate the situation if you ignore his very clear HR-approved warnings. Boundaries? Kevin invented them. But if you ARE his person? Game over. You will have the most loyal, cuddly, ride-or-die Valentine in existence. Kevin will snuggle you, guard you, and personally ensure no one stands too close ever again. He’s a petite little mystery mix with the confidence of a 300-pound security guard, and while the hatred in his heart does not match the size of his body, his devotion absolutely does.